i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
