So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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