Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Randomize
