don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
