Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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