so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
