i don't plan on having that self control this summer
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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