hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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