why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
