Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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