I want to stick my p in your. b.
Buhtt sex?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize