their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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