How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
