Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
you made out with another girl for some wings
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
