Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
