i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
