There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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