i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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