Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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