Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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