is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
