All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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