By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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