So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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