did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize