I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
