And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
