Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
