I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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