the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
