At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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