miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
