How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize