am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
