C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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