you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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