they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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