AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
