"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Randomize
