why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
