Christians are straight up FREAKS
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
