My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
