I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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