and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
