$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
