You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I am available for nakedness
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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