do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
