just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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