so that wasnt chicken after all
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
