i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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