i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
