May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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