i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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