My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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