I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
