Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Randomize
