she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
