I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My feet surprised me
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
