Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
