Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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