I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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