Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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