He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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