Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
