Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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