This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
