I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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