I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize