Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
