What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
