Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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