put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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