You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
