So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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