So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
