literally had 100 drinks last night.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
