just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
